


Come for the Sex Stay for the Sex

by xXmythosshipposterXx



Category: Mythos (Tabletop RPG)
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Disney References, Divination, F/M, Hate Sex, Magic, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, just why, tables
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-05 01:58:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16358489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXmythosshipposterXx/pseuds/xXmythosshipposterXx
Summary: Actually wtf me





	Come for the Sex Stay for the Sex

“You’re such a bitch!” Satan snarls, dodging the spell wizzing overhead of him. “Why do you have to be such a bitch?!”

For the twentieth time today, Hecate had flipped the fuck out and started trying to murder Satan. He didn’t even know why this time. He didn’t even know he was on this much meth that he would actually agree to this cross cultural arrangement with the other pantehons. 

But apparently he did, and so here he with Hecate was; some of the other gods (Thor, Isis, and all the other pantheons that dont matter) had left and he was stuck with her. Actually, he would have left a long time ago, if it wasnt for the deal past methhead him made; now he was stuck here as part of the deal until midnight tonight. 

As Satan doges yet another spell, he ducks under the negotiating table and checks his watch. 4:13 am. Fucking. Great.

I yelp as one of the spells actually hits, and feel my nose enlongate like pinochio. Actually, it grows and grows and doesnt stop growing because as everyone know,s , satan likes to lie. 

“Haha!” Hecate yells, triumphant. “”Good that I got you, because now you cant move for a whole hour!” She sashays over to satan, who is still under the table and i harrumph. 

“Guess you cant get me here!” Satan jeers.” This table is totally fulproof!” She pouts for a second and then lights the table on fire. 

Satan screams before remembering that he’s fire proof and the table turns to ash around him. 

“Do you have a problem with tables?” satan pouts. “It never did anything to you” 

“Wait thirty years” she winks and satan is confused. He divines the future for a second and then hes like “Oh” because indeed, tables will one day fuck over the world. 

Hecate sashays closer to sattan and sits on his laps, giggling as she tugs his nose. 

“Fuck you” he says

“Fuck you “ she screeches and tugs on his nose even harder, making him cry out in pain. 

“Mmm, its pretty long “ She giggles, fondling it gently. He huffs and scoots his body from under her so that she falls on her ass. “Bitch!” she snarls. 

“Ha” He claims, smug. “Take that whore”

She slaps him and grips his shoulders lightly. “How about i rip it off??!” She snarls, fisting his nose. He whimpers and they kiss desperately.

\--- 

An hour later, his nose has shrunken but his penis has not

\---

By the end of the day, the room is virtually nonexistent from all the fire, magic, and tearing at the walls they do. I don’t know why Hecartes never left but she didnt and now she is pregnant, as satan, he could tell. 

“You’re going to have my baby” he tells her. She scowls and stabs herself with a knife. 

“We’ll see about that, bitch” 

“You stabbed your thigh” he notes, and she looks down at the wound.

“Oh” she says and then she shrugs, picking her thong off of the floor. “Well, this was fun, “ She says and then leaves and that is how Hector was born Satan says, looking down at young Hector. The ten year old boy stares at his father in horror. 

“Actually, what the fuck, Dad.”

**Author's Note:**

> Actually wtf me


End file.
